Solid and safe thoughts are having difficulties to appear
its seems like somehow they are vanished
and the faze starts to get complex
my mind is banned of its functions
it seems that there is something inside taking control
misleading the purpose and making all the rest to collapse.
A reflection of the bad person I´ve been takes form
absorbing my mind in a reality I can´t escape
it´s a broadcast performed by my wickedness and mean
punishing me over and over again for my mistakes
leaving me in an impenetrable toxic cruel atmosphere.
My mind is forced to project all this show and sarcasm
I star to consider the past and the decisions made related to this memoirs
memoirs of what I´ve done and how I´ve treated people near me
memoirs of my life philosophy and how I´ve lived my life
make a strong, hurtful pain on my consciousness.
Having no control over it, starts to affect my feelings
sometimes thoughts are so strong I have trouble sleeping and I feel the guilt
reality shows me the perfection I have in my life with my family
those aspects I should be thankful for and I try to
but suicidal ideas keep appearing and the anxiety takes place
fatigue and pain are present at these episodes I can´t control.
©Flaca