Paola R (Chazy Chaz)

MY DEAREST FRIEND

¨In the middle of our journey, I found myself in a dark wood¨ - Dante, The Divine Comedy

 

Now that you are reading this

I will try to use the proper words

so, you understand all my confusion

because now I am sure of one thing

I cannot do this by my own

I feel that I am drowning, and I need help

 

It has been 3 fucking years

suffering in silence, until now

no one has noticed or at least no one cares

no one but you, you know part of this pain

I keep thinking my actions that leaded to this

it\'s imprecise to define 1 cause or origin

and at this moment it does not matter

 

The hardest part is to know

that my mom does not believe or care

because I had the strength to talk about it

but she reacted as she didn\'t believe it

that moment keeps repeating in my mind

now I know that I must deal with this alone

my perception about my family has changed

I am only good at being in their working stake

 

I do not recognize myself anymore

and I want to get out of this

I want to find a cause to live for

and I do not want to feel alone

my friend I need you more than ever

help me find that is still worth it

take me where I can find joy and fun

tell me that all my thoughts are wrong

that I am a good person and that you care

please help me find a way out of this madness

 

©Flaca