Lo Mire

 

Lo mire con rabia,
con furia desacoplada,
con furor encadenado,
con arrebato desgastado,
con un coraje irritable!
Estaba quisquillosa,
susceptible y puntillosa.
Sentida con él,
con la vida,
con el estancado tiempo,
y mi tiempo esposado a su vida.

Lo mire con desdicha
desdicharle la vida quería,
que sintiera lo que yo sentía,
esos espacios vacíos,
vacilando en una historia perdida,
perdida en su sueño y él pesándome pesadilla.

Lo mire con envidia,
envidiaba su habilidad de amar sin amar,
de atarse a medias, midiendo el amor que entregaba,
su habilidad de dejar los sueños de amor…por vanas conquistas.

Lo mire aturdida,
turbada y entristecida.
Lo mire con desprecio, apreciando el amor-que le tenía.
Lo mire callada, callando mi orgullo,
ahogando mi alma, en un diluvio que broto en una sola lagrima.

Lo mire sin compasión,
oprimiendo la pasión que él en mi desenlazaba.
Lo mire como mira la gorda a la lánguida,
como mira el papel a la tinta translucida,
como mira el pobre, el carro nuevo del pastor, y él sin un peso en el bolsillo.
como mira el enfermo a la jeringa
como mira el sol la luna escondida.

Lo mire sin prisa,
lo mire con todo el dolor de mi vida,
lo mire porque él ya no me veía,
lo mire rehaciendo felizmente su vida,
y mis ojos que por él,………………………aun veían.

Lo mire sin vida.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I looked at him angrily,
with decoupled fury,
with unchained frenzy,
with worn-out rapture
with an irritable angry outburst!
I was feeling cantankerous,
delicately susceptible.
I was feeling disheartened by...
with him,
with life,
with the stagnant time,
and my time that was still shackled to his life.

I looked at him with wretchedness,
I wanted to wreck him,
to feel what I felt,
my empty spaces,
vacillating on a lost history,
lost in his dream and him conjuring me up as a nightmare!

I looked at him with envy,
I envied his ability to love without loving,
to tie himself half way,
measuring the love that he gave,
his ability to leave the dreams of love... for vain conquests.

I looked at him stupefied,
shaken and saddened.
I looked at him with contempt,
contemplating the love I still felt.
I looked at him quietly,
quietly silencing my pride,
drowning my soul in a deluge brought about in a single tear.

I looked at him merciless,
suppressing the passion that it my unleashed in me.

I looked at him
the way the fat girl looks at a skinny one,
the way the paper looks at the translucent ink,
the way a poor man looks at the Pastor’s new car,
yet, he doesn’t have a cent in his pocket.
The way the sick looks at the syringe.
The way the sun looks at the hidden moon.

I looked at him leisurely,
I looked at him with all the pain in my life,
I looked at him because he did not see me,
I looked at him happily reclaiming his life..

and my eyes which still saw through his eyes,

looked at him…………………lifeless.
____________________________________________LeydisProse
6/22/2017
https://www.facebook.com/LeydisProse/about/