2017

¨Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man¨- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Once a key holded on my hand

opening the door full of expectations

the key was inserted and with the door opened I entered

an infinite dark room full of passages and mystery

but once inside the door closed and the key went gone.

 

Skeptical of everything and everyone I began my journey

with which my life will struggle for the worst to come

each passage unique and with something to learn I found

values and blemish of myself and the others.

 

During the journey changes starting to occur to myself

at that moment I realize I wasn´t alone

the others were bystanders allowed to stay and see part of the play.

 

A play which I can divide in three scenes to analyze

a sequence of the consequences and the circumstances

different characters and in which I am the main player

being a villain and a hero on each passage

I didn´t consider, as any of us do, the future or

how important we are for the bystanders.

 

But how could the main player ever even consider it

so it is not on her nature to easily stablish trust or loyalty

values already built on the personality but not on this play

and there I was, entering the first scene, the learning path

built it up of the bystanders on the play and each one with

many masks and I had so little time to remember the details

I took what I could and continued with the next step.

 

Analyzing and accepting our new reality, was the first thing

we all, the bystanders and I with one common purpose did

to succeed and to be happy was always the prize to obtain.

 

As it is in real life I found good and evil bystanders

at this place I started to got scared and felt lost

strangely I felt too many little hands on my shoulders

this hands transformed on dragons by my side

those had a beautiful appearance I admired

trouble makers but with innocent hearts.

 

I loved their company but they weren´t there always

once on my own I started to track what and who I saw

and there were others who seemed like me on what I did

but they had the company of the goddess Athena

she is well known for the wisdom and useful arts

instead of that I received a band that covered my eyes.

 

Left behind some bystanders came and gave me a mask so I put it on

it didn´t matter how it worked but I could saw again the place

and they understood the rules and the suffering of that room.

 

There was peace on my soul when I was near them

and with it came the wisdom and the will

but something kept pushing me and vanish all the love

they disappeared and I was again lost and bandaged.

 

I heard noises and an audio with his voice

I hate his voice and his memoirs but it continued

I begged for it to stop, to be abolished

but the dark room wasn´t precisely a nice place

on the contrary the whole room was the monster playing

everything I lived was real but also was on my head.

 

The second scene is called the disgraceful epoch

the worst to come started to take form and name

the bystanders of Athena has struggles as I had

but a difference on the way was coming

I started to feel an excess of trust and that was a mistake

with too much struggles and regrets I got into a cycle.

 

So I used the help of the God Janus to decide

a lot of doors appeared but most of them were punished

all the effort became a defeat on others

my dragons and I received the punishment.

 

A stray started to take form and the director

the dark room as the controller had the voice

and tired of trying and losing I surrendered

so he finally had the control and transformed himself

Hades had now the power over my story, my mind.

 

I felt I had so many demons by my side I couldn´t breath

as it was a very long trip to make I started to suffer

with so many changes and passages the ground hurt my feet

and so it was stressful not to regain the control which I fought.

 

Ares was by my side most of the time and we both fought

and with some help of the bystanders we won some battles

 but weren´t enough to regain control and peace and again

I was left behind at the mercy and desire of hades.

 

He became so powerful that started to affect everything

and so I started to doubt my goals, desires, will, affection

nothing and no one had a park and I lost interest

and at that moment I saw how the future burst

still didn´t matter and didn´t considered the consequences.

 

Our future affects others, and that was exactly what I ignored

I had no control and no strong affection on the bystanders

I commit huge mistakes and hurt them and I lost

a battle that was important and crucial to win.

 

So I gave way to the third scene that is called the abyss

and this is where the chaos is huge and the soul still regrets

the decisions, actions made on the past because now the price is too high

starting with a lost purpose of what I as the main character of this play

experienced and regret of myself for investing and loving seven years of education

teaching is a passion rather than a profession but hades took control over it

now if I gaze back I find a huge pain on my soul that is hard to ignore.

 

My ignorance of the reality has a huge punishment and I still question

I have to ward off and wait until I have my scars on body and soul recovered

I lost my friends and I have a chaos in me

this play has finished but I am still on the scenario

the decision is mine rather to make other play or to go along with Hades.

 

©Flaca